When I first moved to Newcastle, I knew literally two people. After the excitement of new flatmates and a new job had died down, I thought it was about time I checked out the dating scene. With next to no idea of where to meet men in this city, I turned to old faithful…Tinder.

(note: you’ll never meet a nice man on tinder)

I first started chatting to Ollie, and he seemed genuinely nice, we went on a couple of dates and I really started to enjoy his company. He was kind and funny. I was keen to see where things went.

This was a mistake.

One evening I’d returned home from work, absolutely shattered. Ollie, who had been on a work night out had sent a stream of drunken texts, trying to invite himself over. in my exhausted state, I politely declined. Then my phone buzzed again and I opened this…



What. The. F*ck.

Was this guy for real?! Not only was this really rapey, but also….he used the term ‘bbz’ un-ironically. I was done. I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t particularly find rape jokes a turn on.

Needless to say he was blocked and deleted. That was pretty much the end of it. 3 months of my life wasted. It got a good laugh in the office – but we all agreed I needed to up my standards.


Update: I saw Ollie a couple of weeks ago at a gig. He had his tongue down another girl’s throat…and she was awake! Maybe his preferences have changed.

There’s a lesson here: Rape jokes aren’t funny. Ever.