Matt.

Tinder has provided me with lots of different dating experiences, some good, most bad. People often say to me that they don’t understand how I can go out on dates as they would feel so awkward; I look at it like this: If we get along, amazing! If we don’t get along, then at least I probably have a good story to tell.

Here is one of those stories…and to tell you the truth it’s the worst thing I’ve ever done. I feel mean just re-imagining what happened.

I met Matt earlier this year, he seemed funny and polite, something which never fails to charm me. After chatting for a couple of days we agreed to meet for a drink at a local bar. He turned up [late] and I could tell straight away he was nervous. He didn’t speak much and conversation was a real struggle.

Normally, initiating conversation isn’t a problem for me, but I could tell about 3 minutes into this date that I was in no way attracted to this guy. I felt bad. As he drank more and more (presumably to calm his nerves) he told me how nervous he had been to meet me. This sent me into a massive guilt trip so instead of just cutting the date short after one drink, I ended up going for 3 drinks, a meal and 2 more Gin and Tonics.

It was painful.

Matt wasn’t a bad guy, in fact, he was really nice! I could tell after a few drinks, he was starting to relax and feel more comfortable, but it was too little too late for me. I’d made up my mind and I wanted to get out of this situation ASAP.

As he drank more and more, Matt started to air some pretty strong views on politics and religion, he said:

‘I mean, anyone that believes in God is just kind of stupid, I hate religion, it’s the root of all evil. Christians are just deluded.’

Then it came to me….this was my chance. I couldn’t believe I was actually about to do it…

He asked if I wanted another Gin, I smiled and said; “No thanks,  I probably shouldn’t, I have to be up early in the morning.”

Puzzled, he looked at me and said “What would you have to be up early for on a Sunday?”

And that’s when I said it….the biggest lie I’ve ever told….”Oh, yeah, I have to go to church in the morning, like I do every Sunday.’

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Matt’s face turned a pale shade of grey. I stared at him, waiting for a response. I could tell he didn’t know what to say. Part of me felt guilty that I had lied to him…but another part of me, thought it was actually pretty funny.

Needless to say the date was cut short immediately after that. Matt walked me to the metro and told me he’d had a wonderful time and he’d love to see me again…before I could respond he said… “Oh, and the stuff I said about religion, just ignore that. I didn’t mean any of it!”

When I got off the metro and on to my street, I opened a text from Matt telling me he’d had a wonderful time and couldn’t wait to see me again and he hoped he hadn’t offended me.

I never replied.

And that, my friends, is the reason I am going to Hell….if it exists, I don’t know, I’m not religious.

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