An Open Letter…

To all the men that never text back,

What is your deal? Seriously.

It’s been 70 hours and you still haven’t replied. You saw my message 10 minutes after I sent it, and you were online an hour ago, yet you still can’t be arsed to give me a moment of your time.

I am sick and tired of me and my friends constantly second guessing ourselves over your inability to  give us a response. If we were speaking face to face, would you stare at me when I asked a question and then just turn away? That’s what the equivalent of leaving us on ‘seen’ does. It’s rude. But do you know what’s even worse? Not even bothering to open the message, for days on end. You know that little number 1 is there…just staring at you, a little reminder that you’ve patched me for 3 days now. The worst part of all of this, is that with social media and messaging apps being so accessible, you are actively putting effort into not responding. You’ve seen my message and made a choice to ignore it or not bother replying. Any one that has ever been ghosted will tell you, that feeling really sucks!

I know you’re not busy, because I’ve seen your Instagram of you watching Netflix or playing FIFA on your own. You’ve looked at my Snapchat story and updated your Facebook status, but you still couldn’t find two seconds to reply to me? -and now I feel like a stalker for noticing all these things!

It’s not just me that feels this way, you’ve got my friends obsessing over it too…

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We are constantly texting our fellow ladies to seek reassurance that we aren’t crazy, and that we haven’t done anything wrong. We support each other and convince ourselves that we should just move on. We’re angry and decide we deserve better…until you eventually reply. Then it’s all ok again. We’ll never bring it up, at the risk of being branded ‘clingy’ or ‘psycho’, instead we just allow you to repeat this pattern, but today, I say: no more!

Whether we’re just starting to get to know each other, in the post-date stage or have been seeing each other for a while, I’d still like you to acknowledge my existence. Please and thanks!

If you’ve lost interest, don’t feel any chemistry, want to pursue things with someone else, or just have stuff going on in your life, tell me! I’m a big girl (figuratively speaking, obviously…I’m actually only 5’ 3”) Trust me, I can handle it.

For the most part I get it, you don’t want to hurt my feelings, or you might just genuinely be apathetic, but honestly I’d have a lot more respect for you, if you just said that. Do me a favour and save me hours/days/weeks of wondering what I did wrong, so I can move on. 

I find myself feeling two emotions: One, I’m sad, sad that you don’t want to give me a little bit of your attention and that you’re not interested in talking to me. Two, I feel angry. Not because you won’t reply, but because you’ve made me question my self-worth and I’m even more angry that it only takes a lack of response to make me feel this way. When did I become so needy?

Since WhatsApp and Messenger decided to ruin my life (tad dramatic?) by telling me when you were last ‘seen’, I’ve become obsessed with needing to know why you can’t be arsed to answer my question about drinks next week, or tell me how awesome the meme I sent you is. I come up with excuses in my head at first, and then I start to read too much in to it – You’re not interested in me anymore, I talked too much on our date didn’t I? I’m not pretty enough! The sex was bad wasn’t it? Did I do something weird? OH MY GOD – I’m bad at sex. Nobody is ever going to want me again – I’m going to die alone, no man will ever text me again, I may as well reside myself to a life of celibacy and spinsterhood.

Then I snap myself out of it.

You know what? I don’t care that you haven’t responded. It’s your loss, you can’t just pick me up and put me down whenever you want! How very dare you! I am a sassy, independent woman, I don’t need a text from you, I know I’m awesome. You snooze, you lose. In fact, I’m cutting you off. Forgetting you. Moving on to the next one. Wait…you responded, oh what? your phone died?! You’re really sorry you didn’t reply sooner? It’s fine! Don’t worry about it – yes I’d love to hang out next week.

Yours sincerely,

L

xxx

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