11 signs he’s actually, definitely, 110% into you.

So I thought I’d offer out some friendly advice for all guys and gals that are still wondering if that special person is ‘the one’. This is like, expert level dating advice, so if you’re a novice you’re probably thinking that all these signs means he doesn’t like you. You’re wrong. He’s totally in love with you.


He’s totally playing hard to get. He’s a busy guy you know. He couldn’t possibly spare 2 seconds to reply. Just text him again. 17 times. He will love it. When he does respond, make sure you’re waiting by your phone so you can reply with in seconds. If you’re too slow, he will have put his phone down and gone back to his hectic schedule of browsing Reddit and playing x-box.


So, I know it seems like he’s really self-obsessed and isn’t taking an interest in you, but don’t be fooled. He’s just *so* interesting that he has to share every aspect of himself. Quit being so selfish. You’re not that great. Jeez. If he wanted to know how your big presentation went at work, he’d ask! You’re kinda boring anyway.


Look, he’s just REALLY in to technology. He’s totally listening to what you’re talking about and 100% not bored. Men can multi-task too you know?! He just has to check the football score. He needs to answer that banter chat he’s got with the boys. He can’t let them down! You’re cuddles will have to wait. Hang on?! Why are you looking at his phone? WOAHHHHH. No. That’s not cool. What if you see like, dick pics or another girls Snapchat pops up. Just wait over there please.


Men LOVE it when women take control. The man is just empowering your feminista ways. OF COURSE he’d love to meet your parents and be your plus one to your cousins wedding. “But Babe, you’re just so much better with ideas than me!”


No, you’re definitely not a secret. Destiny’s Child got the signals all wrong…

“Say my name, say my name
If no one is around you
Say baby I love you
If you ain’t runnin’ game”

Nothing to see here, he just wants you all to himself. He’ll get ll bashful if he answers around his friends, or his dog, or his wife.


This one is totally excusable. He’s just checking out all the other women he doesn’t have to speak to now that he’s found a stunner like you. That’s all. Why you trippin’? He’s updated his Tinder pics since you started chatting 2 months ago? Well Mrs, I think the real question here is why are YOU on Tinder?! Oh, you were just checking when he was last active, yes,  because that’s totally sane.

Just challenge him on it? Sure. He will almost definitely believe you’re a normal human being and not stalking him at all.


Look, honey, he’s really more of an ‘ideas man’. He likes to dream big! He absolutely wants to take you to that new restaurant opening! His diary is just, like, jam-packed right now. That edge of hope keeps you interested though right? You should just keep making all the arrangements. Women should be the ones to make all the effort anyway.


Definitely not chatting up other birds. Definitely not sleeping with them either. What a ludicrous and outlandish accusation.


ARE YOU CRAZY?! Of course you should be nervous! You’re not just happy with the occasional text back to keep you clinging on? How-bloody-rude. Don’t you dare ask. You’re getting too comfortable. Wanting to know where you stand is a total dating faux-pas.


Since when were friends right about anything? Intuition? Nah Mate. You give great advice to them when they’re seeing a total scum-bag, but not your man. He’s definitely not like that! You’re one lucky gal. Just stop talking to them. They will total be there after 3 months of cancelling on girls night! Right?


How could you think such a thing? His hot and cold responses, total lack of interest in your life, fear of commitment? Girl, you’re just overthinking it. Just keep pursuing him for another six months! That way he will know you’re totes keen. He’s not leading you on. Guys never do that. They don’t even like attention that much!


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